Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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