Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
