I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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