Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you win again, gameday.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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