mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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