Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
