By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My vagina is officially offended.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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