i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
