bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
