using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
