Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
