12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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