I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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