my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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