Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
