Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
