I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
