we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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