who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
