i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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