I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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