My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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