hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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