Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize