Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
