Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
