my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
