Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
