batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I love you.
Bad choice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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