So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
