I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
