remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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