She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
