Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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