I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
