and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
