All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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