There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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