When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
