tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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