my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
