Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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