Don't you send me to vm
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
