are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Randomize
