my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she peed on how many people?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
