you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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