But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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