Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
