You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
