Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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