He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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