just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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