ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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