You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
