I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
