Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are two peas in an std pod
How external is "for external use only"?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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