Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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