The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize