i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
