Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just found puke in my bra..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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