Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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