I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
